Not because "no one cares what I have to say" - if I felt that way, I wouldn't have a blog. Not because I'm afraid of spoiling people - just don't read it (I will try my best not to spoil anything though). My concerns are that my opinion may not be based on good enough evidence - I've seen a bit, but I would hate to be called out on inaccurate statements based on just about 2 hours of gameplay. And I wasn't even the one playing!
But since I'm already writing about it, might as well go all the way:
Why Dragon Age: Inquisition is a Bad Game
Ah yes, a headline, worthy of any gaming site or magazine. No clickbaiting here though. Honest Opinion following!
Story:
The Game starts off with what I personally call the "Zero-to-Hero"-promotion. One moment you're a nobody, a flame in a sea of fire, the proverbial grain of sand. Then, something happens, and now you are the sole saviour of everything. Boom. Why you? Because you're the Main Character. That's it.
And that is lazy as hell.
In Dragon Age 1 (:Origins), you played one of the last. but not THE last. And not even one of the last in the world, just one of the last in the near vicinity of the "Big Bad". Could have been more, but I was, and still am, totally fine with that setup. If you, as the main character, would decide to NOT fight, but instead go wank yourself silly in the brothel, there would be the possibility of others picking up the fight. The Land would probably suffer horribly, millions would die, but eventually others like you would finish the job.
In Dragon Age 2, you played a slightly more capable dude (or dudette), getting the fuck outta Ferelden and trying to forge his/her own destiny. You are certainly important - but you're important because you MADE yourself important, not because someone said that Richard Random is now the main character, giving him a slap on the back and a mark in his hand. What would happen if you, as main character, would jump off a cliff because you couldn't bear with the ever repeating dungeons? The Story would progress differently, but the World wouldn't end there.
In Dragon Age 3 (:Inquisition), the game more or less starts with you waking up to a funky mark on your hand and no recollection of past events. Then you get told that this mark, and only this mark, can save the world. And then you go save the world, because you gotta go save the world. If you somehow were to decide that you would much rather go molest ripped dudes, of which there are many, the world would end. Well, kinda. Point being: You are the absolute single and only Plot device able to stop the super bad stuff from happening.
No, I'm not finished. Read that just now? About you, being the only solution to the problem of global scale? If your continued existence is the only way to preserve everyone's favourite state of being, which is "alive", why aren't you surrounded by a nigh-impenetrable mountain of heavily armoured troops on your every move? Why allow random chance to end the world as we know it? Why is the "Herald of Andraste" allowed to get horribly dismembered by Dragons, Wildlife and hilariously retarded bandits? (What the fuck bandits, if I die, EVERYTHING YOU KNOW will be tossed into the flames of hell, including your sorry ass. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ATTACK ME?! Surely my purse isn't worth THAT much.) Come on now. Just one arrow to the face, and that's it. Bye-bye World.
There would be a lot more things to say, but not without spoiling - so I'll keep that for another time.
Gameplay:
It's an MMO. And that is sad. Warriors are Wizards now, able to split the ground, sending rocks flying and conjuring lava by hitting the ground - and all of this vanishes just as fast as it appears. Sorcery indeed! I never liked the absurd stupidity of MMO-like abilities that alter the terrain in a purely cosmetic manner for a few seconds, without regards to the existing terrain.
The "World" is vast, beautiful, and empty, forcing you to walk/ride all about the countryside to kill respawning (!) mobs, partly for quests, partly for grinding. Even our old friends, the Fetchquests, are here! "Go forth, brave hero, and bring me 4 feet of Pigs! But beware, only every 3rd Pig drops one foot!"
Alright, so, only every 3rd pig has 1 foot. That is not only quite disturbing, but also utter nonsense, only serving to artificially stretch playtime without adding any content - together with killquests ("kill x creatures of type y to complete quest") the absolute WORST the MMOs have brought into the broad masses, in terms of questdesign.
Ranting about the bad top-down implementation that's clearly only working on consoles would be valid, but others have done that before - same with the bugs (Quests bug out, can't be completed, Companions just vanish from the spot they usually stand in until you reload the game.
Tl;dr: DA:I is, at it's core, functional. Sadly, it soils the good name Bioware has made for itself.
I loved you once, Bioware. I closed my eyes when people showed me your black-and-white morality, I dismissed any claims that Obsidian would make better stories on account of their bug-ridden accidents they dared to call games. I still kept my hope, even after Ray, Greg, and a lot of other people left. And then you threw the goddamn ME3-Ending at me. Stupid glowing baby of circular logic +4. Yes, I know it's not a baby. And now this.
Bioware, my gamerheart is bleeding. And it's bleeding hatred for EA, because the only way I can accept what happened to you is by blaming EA for forcing the retarded glowing baby on you, which made Ray and Greg leave the company, because they wanted nothing more to do with this nonsense.
Been playing Shadowrun Returns the last few days, will write about it soon-ish, now that my writers block of condensed disappointment is gone.
Until then,
May you walk in childlike wonder!
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